Happy Monday! (I know…those two words don’t go well together). I am happy today though, because I am actually getting the opportunity to post! The past couple of weeks have been super busy. I was doing a lot of work and maintenance on the website. It may not look very different to you, but there was a lot going on in the background. I will spare you the boring details and jump right into todays post. It’s all about why I chose to stop fertility treatments.
This is something I have wanted to share for awhile, but I wanted to wait until after I had announced our adoption plans. You may think that the adoption stuff came out of left field, but the truth is that it is something that I have always wanted to do.
I want to make it clear that I did not choose adoption, due to infertility, because I think that is the wrong reason to adopt. It is a very different route to parenthood. I am not saying that you should not adopt if you have been struggling with infertility. I am just saying that infertility should not be your reason for doing it. That is what bothers me the most about the, “Why don’t you just adopt?” question that infertile couples get asked. You should never, just adopt. But, let me get off of that soap box and back to what today’s post is really about.
I want to share a little bit about my decision to stop fertility treatments.
How it started.
Even though we discussed adoption before marriage, we still decided to try for a biological child first. It seemed logical. The process is typically much smoother (unless you have a lot of pregnancy complications or infertility), we wanted to try for a biological child while we were relatively young, and we thought it would be better to adopt after we had some experience in the parenting department. As you may know from some of my previous posts, conceiving did not come easy. We considered jumping right into adoption and foregoing treatments all together, but something held me back. I just wanted to test the waters.
What fertility treatments we tried.
Honestly, it didn’t take long for me to realize that fertility treatments were not right for me. I remember going to the first appointment at our fertility clinic. I was both anxious and hopeful. Most of our results looked great. I knew that I had a blocked fallopian tube, based on an HSG that was done a few months prior, but the doctor did not seem hindered by that.
So, it began. An IUI was what the doctor suggested and even though none of it was covered by our insurance, we decided to go for it. I won’t get into the process, because I have already done that in a previous post, but I knew immediately after, that it wasn’t something I wanted to keep doing. The medication made me sick and hormonal, it was extremely time consuming, and when it didn’t work, it hit me really hard.
I knew the statistics going in. The first IUI almost never works. They always suggest you try it three times, before moving on to something else.
But, I didn’t.
It was one and done for me.
The decision to stop.
When we started the first and last IUI, I had every intention of doing three. Justin and I had discussed it and that was the line in the sand that I had drawn. Three IUIs and then done. However, after seeing how my body reacted to the one and how emotionally distraught it made me, I just knew I couldn’t do it again. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t an easy decision. I did agonize over it at first, but when I finally said “no more”, I felt a major relief. We both felt like a weight had been lifted. That is why I knew it was the right decision for us and why I do not regret it one bit.
I could look back at my short experience with fertility treatments and consider myself a quitter, but I don’t. This decision is a very personal one. It should be made prayerfully, between you and your husband. There were those that questioned my reasons for not giving it another shot. Thankfully, no one close to the situation did. They knew how much it had affected me and they supported my decision to stop. If you have become so obsessed with trying to get pregnant, that you can’t focus on anything else in life, it may be time to evaluate what you are doing. Even if you feel like you have already invested a lot of time, money, and energy into the process. Do not feel bad for taking a break or stopping all together.
To the women that continue to trudge on through the valley of fertility treatments, this post is not meant to make you reconsider. If you feel lead to keep going, by all means, stay the course mama warrior! We all have a different path. Even if it looks similar to someone else’s, it has our name on it, and it is only ours.
I hope this has helped you, if you are struggling with a similar decision. Always feel free to reach out to me, if you feel like you need to talk to someone that has been there. You can e-mail me directly or find me on Instagram.
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Until next time!