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If you are currently going through an adoption (or considering it), you may encounter many waiting periods, throughout the process. There are times when you feel like you will never get through the mountains of paperwork, background checks, and training that is required. However, you will get through it and when you do, you may start to wish you had more paperwork. Instead of feeling antsy and uncertain, while you are waiting, you can use that time to prepare for your future child. Today, I’m sharing five things that you can do during the adoption wait.
Spend time with your current family.
Maybe this is something you are already doing, but if you aren’t making it a priority, then you should. Even if your current family is just you and your husband, this is the time you need to be focusing on that relationship. Go on dates or maybe take a long weekend trip. Talk about your future and discuss important issues, that may arise, when you are parents. If you have children at home, you should definitely take advantage of this time, to make them feel special. When their new sibling comes home, they will have to adjust to sharing your time.
Read and learn all that you can.
Go above and beyond your required adoption training! There are so many great books, that can help to prepare you for parenting an adopted child. We read The Connected Child (a must!) and it really opened our eyes to the different struggles, that adopted children face. We have also read several articles, that were written by social workers and counselors, that specialize in adoption. If you check with your agency, I’m sure they have resources for you to check out.
If you are adopting internationally, learn more about your child’s culture.
As you know, we are adopting internationally, from Taiwan. Before we made the decision to adopt from there, we had already been to the country. We also have a few friends, that live there. Of course, this isn’t a requirement for adoption. However, while you go through your adoption wait, you have a great opportunity to learn more about where your child is coming from. Study their culture and maybe even learn their native language. As they grow up, you can help them to embrace their heritage, if that is something they want to do.
Pray about it and ask others to pray.
This is so important! I constantly have to ask God for patience and wisdom. I also have to remind myself, that everything is going to play out in His perfect time. The circumstances that lead to an adoption, are less than ideal. In order for us to become a new family, the original family is broken. Through our adoption wait, I am praying for my own patience, but I’m also praying for our future child and for the mother that makes the decision to place him or her for adoption. There is so much tragedy and loss involved and sometimes all you can do is pray.
Start a Journal.
Get your thoughts and feelings out on paper. You may be surprised, by how therapeutic it is. I enjoy bullet journaling and I also keep a prayer journal. This helps me to document, each step, in the adoption process. One day, when my child is ready, I will be able to show them how wanted and loved they were, before I even met them. In the meantime, it is comforting to me, to write about our journey.
I hope that this list has been useful for you, if you have been struggling through a waiting period. I know that it can feel like forever, but we will blink our eyes and it will feel like it flew right by. If you have any other ideas for things to do, during the adoption wait, send them my way. We are in this together, sister!
Until next time!